She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
