I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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