I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
