Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
