Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
