R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize