You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
