I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
this is an emotional support booty call
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
