All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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