Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
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i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
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Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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