she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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