The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize