I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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