Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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