She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
