Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
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I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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