dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
