Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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