If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
tell me about the eggs
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
