you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
