So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
