Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
