i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
foreskin is a definite game changer
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
