omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
