She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
