My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
