You're completely useless in the revolution.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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