scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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