Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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