we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I need to sanitize my soul.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
