Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
