We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
