I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
sex in a hospital.. check
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