That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
