I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
