$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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