Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
