Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we're making bets on your personal life
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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