Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
it's like iHOP with fire
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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