FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
