do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
