38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
