Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
