Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
