What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
