He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
