I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
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I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
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He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell