you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?