he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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