I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
