I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
