Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
