There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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