You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
