I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
