Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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