I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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