Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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