You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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