I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
