I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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