fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
