sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
