Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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