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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying

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• (214): View more from Texas

  And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit

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• (509): View more from Washington

  The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.

  Fav 16 1025 4917

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (310): View more from California

  When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.

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• (916): View more from California

  An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Gay?

  (226): View more from Ontario

  German.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Pity.

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