Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex