Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.

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(360): So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor. http://tfl.nu/jcpz

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(217): View more from Illinois

You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk

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(217): You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk http://tfl.nu/jf67

Replies (29) Good night (4093) Bad night (1439)
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(802): View more from Vermont

there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.

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(802): there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/b4oz

Replies (10) Good night (2781) Bad night (877)
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(989): View more from Michigan

in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.

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(989): in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/9a80

Replies (14) Good night (1214) Bad night (4929)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"

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(905): I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by" http://tfl.nu/6dm5

Replies (12) Good night (1113) Bad night (2522)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?

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(973): I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night? http://tfl.nu/cbpu

Replies (8) Good night (6851) Bad night (1037)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic

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(859): I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic http://tfl.nu/wb2m

Replies (7) Good night (1137) Bad night (2121)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?

(+48): View more from Poland

Poland

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(+44): You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you? (+48): Poland http://tfl.nu/96rz

Replies (10) Good night (4304) Bad night (749)
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(469): View more from Texas

Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...

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(469): Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it... http://tfl.nu/spt6

Replies (7) Good night (2662) Bad night (696)
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(517): View more from Michigan

the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.

(1-517): View more from Michigan

fuck our hall.

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(517): the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story. (1-517): fuck our hall. http://tfl.nu/9mns

Replies (7) Good night (643) Bad night (1650)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.

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(734): I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW. http://tfl.nu/ynr9

Replies (10) Good night (2585) Bad night (617)
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(206): View more from Washington

"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha

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(206): "Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha http://tfl.nu/1j7y

Replies (10) Good night (3090) Bad night (560)
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(315): View more from New York

I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online

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(315): I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online http://tfl.nu/2eyx

Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (717)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.

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(215): we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels. http://tfl.nu/n1cw

Replies (2) Good night (1101) Bad night (249)
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(361): View more from Texas

Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"

(517): View more from Michigan

Wear something tight

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(361): Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick" (517): Wear something tight http://tfl.nu/ryqo

Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (316)

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