Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  i think im in thre room next to you

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  (913): i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me. (816): i think im in thre room next to you http://tfl.nu/b5hq
  Replies (28) Good night (2052) Bad night (574)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around

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  (814): I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around http://tfl.nu/xsf6
  Replies (13) Good night (1202) Bad night (2270)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.

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  (605): there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife. http://tfl.nu/kzgo
  Replies (5) Good night (1570) Bad night (5877)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed

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  (301): Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed http://tfl.nu/1voz
  Replies (8) Good night (1068) Bad night (4686)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.

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  (828): my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty. http://tfl.nu/rhpp
  Replies (29) Good night (7179) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break

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  (805): The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break http://tfl.nu/smih
  Replies (3) Good night (2797) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag

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  (330): Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag http://tfl.nu/ebgx
  Replies (4) Good night (1175) Bad night (2045)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)

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  (630): Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-) http://tfl.nu/n299
  Replies (8) Good night (1961) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.

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  (+45): The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm. http://tfl.nu/ztnf
  Replies (2) Good night (2744) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life

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  (850): He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life http://tfl.nu/ihqi
  Replies (15) Good night (702) Bad night (2771)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.

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  (208): If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas. http://tfl.nu/e1hv
  Replies (4) Good night (1405) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...

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  (731): Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels... http://tfl.nu/6gyu
  Replies (22) Good night (1432) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.

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  (415): Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it. http://tfl.nu/rry5
  Replies (5) Good night (591) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket

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  (412): i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket http://tfl.nu/c231
  Replies (11) Good night (1135) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling

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  (215): All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling http://tfl.nu/arff
  Replies (1) Good night (266) Bad night (501)

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