you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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