D3 body, D1 cock
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman