Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate

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  (313): Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate http://tfl.nu/xmwg
  Replies (15) Good night (1573) Bad night (4180)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.

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  (505): My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut. http://tfl.nu/nzlu
  Replies (18) Good night (4501) Bad night (856)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Banned from zoo.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Again?

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  (240): Banned from zoo. (301): Again? http://tfl.nu/bv0w
  Replies (44) Good night (17541) Bad night (1361)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  time to smoke my breakfast

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  (724): time to smoke my breakfast http://tfl.nu/9r0k
  Replies (13) Good night (5312) Bad night (1011)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

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  (630): My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock. http://tfl.nu/njgo
  Replies (166) Good night (28688) Bad night (2944)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.

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  (814): shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step. http://tfl.nu/6g1i
  Replies (16) Good night (6580) Bad night (1107)
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  (315): View more from New York

  don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there

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  (315): don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there http://tfl.nu/ybdj
  Replies (4) Good night (4457) Bad night (967)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.

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  (781): Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person. http://tfl.nu/31bd
  Replies (3) Good night (2726) Bad night (1436)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart

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  (484): judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart http://tfl.nu/l5ge
  Replies (2) Good night (2412) Bad night (910)
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  (949): View more from California

  you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.

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  (949): you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club. http://tfl.nu/2ky9
  Replies (9) Good night (2624) Bad night (987)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.

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  (803): His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart. http://tfl.nu/mpsg
  Replies (7) Good night (632) Bad night (1340)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.

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  (586): You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas. http://tfl.nu/7o12
  Replies (7) Good night (1304) Bad night (484)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits

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  (204): He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits http://tfl.nu/uf23
  Replies (5) Good night (451) Bad night (753)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway

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  (503): Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway http://tfl.nu/sill
  Replies (0) Good night (540) Bad night (215)
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  (420): View more from

  I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.

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  (420): I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/cm8p
  Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (118)

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