Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
