Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
