You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
there was a trapeze. enough said
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
