So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
