i just had sex bonerless
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize