It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
