I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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